


Broken

by SecretWriter12



Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-05-10
Packaged: 2019-05-04 23:42:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,489
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14604324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SecretWriter12/pseuds/SecretWriter12
Summary: Some things are never meant to last, you aren’t happy in your relationship and there is nothing Tommy can do to fix it this time.





	Broken

He wasn’t here. He had promised you he’d come, yet you are sitting alone in the dining room of your enormous empty house. You can hear light footsteps but you know it isn’t Thomas’, his are heavy, warning you of his approach. Your heart sinks lower as you realise that your fiancée isn’t coming.

You had been growing distant over the last few months, he had always claimed to be busy trying to expand. You had tried to be supportive, but you were tired. You felt lonely and any time that the two of you were in the same room, it had usually ended up in an argument. It was turning you into an emotionless shell of your former self. You loved that man so much, yet it was toxic and could kill you.

The room is growing darker like your mood, the sun setting outside the large windows. You haven’t bothered to light the room so very soon you will be plunged into darkness. But the darkness doesn’t bother you.

You sit there for what feels like hours, contemplating an important decision as the room gets colder. As you gaze around the ornate dining room, you admire the paintings and beautifully carved furniture. Things that you had used to dream of sitting at, the possibility of owning something like this had never crossed your mind. You had never been bothered with what you had had before the business had taken off, but Tommy had given it to you to make you happy. He had filled your life with endless gifts and treats, as if to conceal your former lives. He had always wanted more, while you had just wanted him.

Absentmindedly, you had been fiddling with your ring. It was a simple design even though Tommy had told you he had nearly chosen a flashier one. But you had fallen in love with this one, far before you two were ever together. Suddenly, the ring no longer promises happiness and love, but of heartbreak and misery. You pull it off and place it on the dark wood in front of you. The symbol of all his promises and love, but it feels hollow and empty now.

You go to bed with the same empty feeling, leaving your ring there. You’ve made your decision. A single tear slips down your cheek as you slip into the cold empty bed you wish you were sharing with the love of your life.

* * *

 

When you wake, he still isn’t there. You check with the maids, but there have been no phone calls, no cars creeping up in the middle of the night. It’s the final push you need. Your last reason to do it. You search for your simplest dress, one you bought yourself before you met Tommy. You pull your hair back and grab your smallest suitcase. You don’t need much, most of your things are still in your parents’ house down south. It takes little time, but you know you have to hurry before you change your mind. As you make your way into the hall, your mentality changes making you slow down with every step, praying that Tommy will arrive, to even try to stop you from walking out the door. But as you get to the bottom of the stairs, you give up on your hopeless dream. You ask for the car to be started as you stare around the silent house.

You suddenly feel very out of place, as if you are no longer welcome. No one was there to stop you, yet it felt like you were being stopped. Like there was an invisible chord holding you back from turning the handle. You breathe slowly as you twist the doorknob and step out into the bright light of the world.

When you arrive in Small Heath, your heart sinks lower as you see several expensive cars lining the small street. As your own slowed to a stop, the cold and smell hit you as you climb out. The smell of the dirty city had been something you had grown to love, as you had lived in the southern countryside for the majority of your life. As you approach the door to the betting shop, you prepare yourself to what you could find. Inside, you see the business busy as usual. People aren’t concerned to see you, they knew better than to even talk to Tommy’s fiancé. In some ways, it had alienated you from the community when you had started a relationship with the gang leader. Everyone was too scared of what might happen if they disrespected you, which had disheartened you even though you tried to ignore it. You leave your case by the door before walking into his office. You find him sitting there, leaning over his desk. The strong musk of smoke and whiskey hits you like a wave as you move further into the office. He looks up wearily, but his sea-blue eyes become sharp when he realises it’s you.

“What are you doing here, [Y/N]?” he seems tired, making you almost pity him.

“You never came home last night.” You may have come here with a plan, but not knowing where he had been eating away at you during the drive.

“Business came up, slept here instead.” It was the normal excuse, yet it felt weaker than usual. Suddenly, you don’t want to know if there is another woman, it probably would kill you if you did know.

You distinctively move to twist your ring, as you often did when he told you an excuse, only stopping when you realise it is no longer there. Tommy notices, his jaw fixing as he stares at your bare hand. You try to cover it, but it’s too late.

“It’s over Tom.” he doesn’t reply, his face remains expressionless but he refuses to meet your eyes. He just stares at your bare hand while you struggle to find something to say, “I’ve left everything you gave me at the house.”

“What use would I have for it?” still refusing to show any emotion, as if you were an enemy, “It was to please you.”

His eyes finally meet yours, but it feels like he is trying to reach in your soul. Although he hides it, you know he is yearning to ask you why. But he refuses to beg for you to stay or even raise his voice. It’s like Tommy still believes he can win you back.

“You can’t fix everything with money Tom.” The silence surrounds you again, even though there are loud voices outside. It’s like the two of you are the only people in the world in this singular moment.

“Where will you go?”

“Away.” His irritated sigh fills the room at your vague answer, “I don’t want you to know. You’ll only draw unwanted attention to me if you do.”

He stands up and rounds the desk to close the distance between you. You hold your breath as his hand caresses your face. He scans your face, as if he is trying to take in every detail. You can sense his face getting slowly closer to yours, your instinct tells you to pull away. But you don’t, instead you lean in slightly. Your kiss is slow and tender. He tries to deepen the kiss, pull you back in but you move your head back, shaking slowly.  While pulling back you see the true emotions Tommy was trying to hide. You can see the terror in his eyes, but also the anger, he is losing something he had regarded as his. You can momentarily see the passionate man that you fell in love with. The man who never hid anything from you, who wanted to come home to you every night. But his composure soon returns and his eyes glaze over, closing you out once again.

“I love you.” It’s quiet, only loud enough for you to hear. It usually wins you over, but it doesn’t move you now. It feels hollow and meaningless, but yet you can feel your heart breaking. Tommy rarely said it to you, but you can’t tell if he is being truly honest – there is to much distrust that has grown in his absence.

“I love you Thomas Shelby.” With a shaky breath, you move further back to create distance so you won’t break, “I just can’t be with you anymore.”

As you leave him alone, you start to feel your emotions grabbing at you. You walk back through the shop quickly, ignoring the calls from Polly and the rest of the Shelbys. The pain eats away at you as you walk into the dingy street. But you keep walking away. You can’t turn back now, even though it’s breaking your heart with every step. You were free like you had wanted to be, but there was no denying it – you still loved him. 

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I've decided to try another one. I'm not completely satisfied, but I thought I would put it out there to see what others think. I’m still quite new to this so please be nice! Hope you enjoy!


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